Why? Why? Why?

by Birdy
(Poland)

I feel so miserable.I've been reading this diary for an hour and I just can't stop crying.This is so difficult.How i'm going to live?Raise kids?Study?work?travel?How? How I can feel good and happy and relaxed if the only thing on my mind is my poor bowel?I can't go to university no more , I can't study, I can't go out with my friends and just take it easy and have fun.I just can't.During the lectures i'm just counting the time ,how much does it left to get back home?Jesussss..I'm only 20.I rememember it all has started a year ago...There was a ,good concert, I had so much fun,I was happy,with my friends,listening to music,drinking beer(now i just can forget it )and the other day,suddenly all just went bad.And here i am,lying in my bed and crying,remembering days when I was actually happy and "THINKING" .About the life,world,people ,love.And now i'm not even thinking,i'm always scared and afraid of feeling embarrassed and getting sick.That's why most of the time I spend alone.YeEE I love my life.Thank you .Why did i get this body..I guess i'd my much happier if I were a doggie