Missing out

by Laura
(England)

I'm 19 years old and was diagnosed last year with IBS-D but looking back now I had flare-ups before I realised there was any problem. What's affected me the most is the panic I seem to feel at the thought of things that I never used to give a seconds thought to, I used to enjoy life so much I have travelled to many places from a young age but looking back now I'm not sure how I managed! A good example would be a school exchange I took to Germany due to traffic and many stops due to others travel sickeness it took 23 hours to get from A to B.


I look back now and think to myself I find it hard to make a 10 minute car trip into town to do my food shop! It really makes me feel low to see everyone around me heading off to university and going about life without a care while I get left behind. I don't see much of my friends anymore as I struggle to get out and find myself avoiding many situations I used to enjoy.


I am also concerned about my relationship with my partner of a year and a half, as we are both still young I find the idea of him having to deal with my illness on a daily basis add to that my increasing lack of "a life" might push him away as I rely on him for company everyday (we live together) however because we do not have a bond as strong as 50 years of marriage he really may not have that much keeping him with me and I would understand as I'm not an easy person to get along with.


I feel very held back without a job or any worthy qualifications. I feel like my life is going no where, I'd love a job or to go back to education but the very thought sends me into panic about needing to use the toilet or worse having an accident in public (my biggest fear).


I have tried many tablets to help with the cramps I get, I take anti D tablets to deal with the emergency of BMs I often get. But I feel perhaps some from of psychological help might be my best bet, I have many underlying issues including my fathers death at a young age (I was with him while he passed at age 12) along with my constant craving to worry about stupid things and think irrational thoughts.


I just want an opinion from a sufferer who has taken the psychological route? I think I really need help I feel in a very big rut right now and can't see a way out and I don't want youth and its opportunities to pass me by.